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anonymous
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Posted on: Dec 02, 2006
Re: Why is it so hard?
I don't think it's exactly that... now-a-days, sex is not
really a taboo!!! Maybe, the man is ashamed of his
performance and the woman doesn't want to rub it in by
callin attention to it, or vise versa!!! U don't want to
alienate ur partner. Although, being open is one of the keys
to success in a relationship!!! If u can't tell ur partner,
tell someone... friend, doctor, pyschiatris, whoever!!! U'll
feel better, trust me...
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nalani2001
41 F
1 posts
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Posted on: Dec 03, 2006
Re: Why is it so hard?
Dear RegularMIGuy,
After reflecting on your questions a
bit, i think people who care and are concerned intimately
about their partner do not wish to hurt them by telling them
how they perform poorly sexually. Of course this would be a
definite bruising to their partner's ego and a painful issue
between the couple because now one has placed performance
judgement on another. Although the critique was made to
help to improve performance, partners' may not have reached
that level of uninhibited maturity to accept critiques of
their sexual performance. Partners need to understand that
although you think your partner may accept what you say to
them, you need to gauge at what level will they accept what
you say to them. People tend to hear what they want to hear
and not something to improve themselves. Therefore, you
need to tactfully approach the situation and have your
partner come to some level of understanding that they will
need to improve their sexual performance based on what you
would enjoy, like, and find hot and
uninhibited.
Discussing sex and all the aspects about sex
is healthy between a couple so both partners know what the
other wants and likes and dislikes. And it is also an
opportunity to come to a compromise on what can be attained
to satisfy both partners under the dislike category, ie.
anal sex, etc. In the end, the couple has to find a common
ground to agree on, on what they like in sex and will
perform best in to satisfy both partners. And if no common
ground can be attained, I think it would be best for both
partners to find others they may find themselves attracted
to and enjoy similar things that they can be uninhibited
with such as all the wonderful aspects of a healthy sexual
relationship.
I hope this helps.
Take care.
Lani
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anonymous
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Posted on: Dec 04, 2006
Re: Why is it so hard?
I do not believe it is taboo, i agree with your statment
that it is fear of hurting ones feelings. what was good
enough, or great sex...if it doesn't change or evolve, then
it becomes somewhat mundane and boring...and if you have
been doing it that way for years....yes i think there is a
big fear of hurting someone, or creating mistrust. women
tend to think, where did he hear about that, or why does he
wnat ot try that ...then our minds race and think...wow, we
are not good in bed anymore. He used to like my blow jobs,
what happened, is he getting it somewhere else now. This is
where REALLY talking sex comes in. not a glazed over topic
during a tv commercial, a real intimate talk about wanting
to make a few changes...and building each other up at the
same time, so we don't have to think he's looking elsewhere.
if my man just blurted out things he wanted to try (and
this is not his style), I would also need the reassurance as
to how much he loves me and wants to pleasure me and try new
things. and again how much he loves me.
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